This article is a transcript of the Thundermans episode "It's Not What You Link" from season two, which aired on March 5, 2015.
  • [episode begins with Phoebe opening the door to Link, who brought jelly jams to her]
  • Phoebe: Oh my gosh, Link. You got me jelly jams from Metroburg. How did you know I wanted these?
  • Link: I kind of caught on after your 20 texts. [his phone rings 3 times and it's another text] 21.
  • Phoebe: Ha. You wanna slow down that work. Expect 35 orders. Now stand back. This can get messy. [eats a jam] Mm. So good. [[[Billy Thunderman|Billy]] and Nora enter]
  • Billy: Link bought you jelly jams? He's so cool.
  • Nora: Nah. I don't see it.
  • Link: I also got you guys some.
  • Nora: Link is the best. [she and Billy take the jams]
  • Phoebe: You are so thoughtfull and generous. [[[Max Thunderman|Max]] shows up]
  • Max: And boring and doll and toothy.
  • Link: Oh that's right. Max lives here too.
  • Phoebe: Hey. Don't worry. I'll just patiently ask him to leave. [to Max] You're worst. Get out.
  • Max: Gladly. I'm taking these with me. [uses telekinesis and steals the jams. Link gets angry about it]
  • Link: I did not super stretch the top half of my body to Metroburg, just he could come in steal my jams! [shows the back of his hoddie with car wheel paint] I got runned over 3 times.
  • Phoebe: Just ignore him. And we'll apint his face after he takes a new nap.
  • Link: Not this time Phoebe. [super stretches his arms and grabs the the box of jams but Max doesn't let them go]
  • Max: Hey! Let go these jams.
  • Phoebe: [to Max] What is your problem?
  • Max: My problem is the son of Evilman should be evil. Not buying delicious goods for goofy girls.By the way, you're the goofy girl. Unhand the jams, nerd.
  • Link: Never!
  • Phoebe: Max. Imeediately let go. [Max does so but Link pulls the jams with so much strength that he falls down with his stretched arms and the jams around his body. Max laughs a little]
  • Max: I do not get what you see in this guy. [takes a jam and starts eating it]
  • [theme song]
  • [scene changes to the living room. Hank goes down the stairs and Barb shows up and hands him a towel]
  • Barb: Here's your towel, honey. I watched these things happen since you've been going to yoga so often.
  • Hank: It's broga, Barb. Yoga for bros. I'm sorry, this body is gonna sweat. [accidentally drops the towel and grabs it again. His face is sweaty and sighs in tiredness]
  • Barb: Well. You have a good work, my bendy bear. [kisses him in the cheek]
  • Hank: You know me. Namastê, fit for you. [runs away. Barb finds Phoebe in the kitchen holding a plastic hand]
  • Barb: Phoebe. What's wrong?
  • Phoebe: It's Link. [puts the plastic hand down] I miss him so much.
  • Barb: Sweetie. I'm so sorry. You know, I have the feeling it wouldn't last.
  • Phoebe: [confused] What? No, we're still together. Every time Link comes over, buttface Max runs him off.
  • Barb: No Phoebe. Your brother is not a buttface. [Max comes in with buttcheeks drawn allover his face. He grabs an apple and takes a bite out of it]
  • Max: What? I want to keep this picture last longer.
  • Phoebe: I already did. [Max walks away with the apple. Phoebe sighs] What was great as it was painting buttcheeks on his face cheeks, I would kile to have Link here and wish he and Max didn't hate each other so much.

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