This is a complete transcript of Adventures in Supersitting
Phoebe: I hope you're all hungry! [Everybody agrees]
Billy: Yeah, lets eat!
Barb: It is so nice to sit down to dinner like a normal family.
Phoebe: Yeah. Hit it sis!
Phoebe: I'll get forks. [Phoebe activates her telekinesis to get the forks]
Billy: I'll get the lemonade.
[Billy super speeds to the fridge and back with lemonade]
Max: And I'll eat dessert. [Max activates his telekinesis to get the cake]
Phoebe: Max, that's for later.
[Max and Phoebe use their telekinesis to fight over the cake]
Max: Says who?
Phoebe: Me. Now let it go!
Max: Suit yourself. [the cake hits the wall, Max laughs]
Billy: Wall cake!
Hank: That's it. [while holding Billy from super speeding to the cake] For once, could we enjoy a nice, relaxing dinner without you kids using your superpowers?
[Everybody agrees with Hank]
Hank: Great. Now, where is my Peruvian hot sauce?
Phoebe: You’re going to fly to Peru to get hot sauce, aren't you?
Hank: Thunder Man, away! [Hank flies through the ceiling to Peru]
Max: That is never not funny.
Phoebe: Okay. See you then, Cherry! I know, I can’t wait either! Bye. [Phoebe ends her call with Cherry]
Phoebe: Ooh, I'm having a girls night with Cherry!
Billy: I don't get it. You and Max have more powers than all of us and you're excited about seeing a friend?
Nora: You don’t get it because your only friends are the bacteria in your armpits.
Billy: Yeah, and they want to be friends with you too.
Phoebe: Come on guys, be nice. You should love your siblings. [Phoebe bumps into Max]
Phoebe: Except him, he's evil.
Max: Come on sis, you're my twin. Where's the love?
Phoebe: The love died when you beheaded my dolls when we were five.
Max: Oh yeah. Totally worth it! [Max shows the doll that he beheaded]
Max: Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to go do supervillian stuff in my lair.
[Barb and Hank walk in]
Barb: It's not a lair if it has a nightlight.
Hank: Supervillian? More like super cutie! [Hank kisses Max on the cheek]
Nora: Where you going?
Hank: I am taking your mom out to dinner.
Barb: So Max and Phoebe are babysitting you; they're really looking forward to it.
[Phoebe walks in]
Phoebe: Don't talk to your armpits, don't laser your brother, don't take over the world, don't have more children; goodnight everybody!
[Barb activates her lightning to hit the front door]
Phoebe: Wow mom, you still got it.
Barb: Where are you going? I need you and Max to babysit tonight.
Phoebe and Max: What?!
Phoebe: Mom, I was going to Cherry's tonight.
Max: Yeah, and I was going to not babysit.
Barb: Well, now you’re not not-babysitting. ...wait. [Hank agrees] Yeah, that's right.
Phoebe: Well, can't a neighbour watch Billy and Nora?
Hank: And risk the kids exposing their powers to a non-superhero?
Phoebe: They won't. They're really responsible now.
Nora: Dance! Dance I say! [Nora lasers Billy]
Billy: Ow! Cut it out! [Nora laughs]
Phoebe: Please, mom! Cherry is the only friend I've managed to make since we've moved here.
Max: That's one more than I thought she'd make.
Barb: I'm sorry, honey. But your father and I gave up crime fighting so you kids could have a normal childhood.
Hank: That's right. Which is too bad, 'cause I've still got it.
Barb: Yeah, and a little extra.
Phoebe: This is the worst! You know, sometimes I wish we didn't even have superpowers.
Barb: I'm sorry, Phoebe. [Barb kisses Phoebe on the head] Come on, Hank.
Hank: To the Thunder Mobile!
Hank: To the Thunder Minivan!
Barb: No, it's just a mini-- whatever.
Max: How can I become the world's greatest supervillian if I have to babysit Zippy and Lasergirl? Wait a minute! You guys are way too cool for babysitting. How'd you like to assist me on my latest project?
Nora: Guess so.
Max: Alright. Phoebe! You deserve a girls night. So, why don’t I babysit Billy and Nora while you invite your friend over here.
Phoebe: Are you nuts? What about dad's number one rule.
Max: Everything goes better with gravy?
Phoebe: No non-supes in the house. I'm calling Cherry to cancel.
Max: You're right. Of course, she'll probably find a new best friend and you can make loneliness your new best friend.
Phoebe: Wait! You guys promise, that if Cherry comes, you won't use your powers?
Billy and Nora: Of course not, we wont.
[Nora lasers Billy]
Nora: She's not here yet.
Phoebe: Okay, I'll do it.
Max: Great, let's text her. [Max uses his telekinesis to take Phoebe's phone]
Max: Sup, girl. Pheebs here...
Phoebe: You're texting as me?
Max: Totes obvi we should hang at my crib. See you at 7. As if! Smiley face with a party hat.
Phoebe: Darn it... that is exactly what I would have written.
Max: Alright guys, to the Max Lair! [Max opens the hatch to his lair] Woo!
Billy: Billy in the hole!
Nora: Glad we got rid of the boy germs. Am I right, Pheebs? [Phoebe looks at Nora]
Nora: Yeah, I'll just go.
Billy: Weee! Hey, where's Nora?
[Billy screams and Nora lands on top of him]
Max: Okay, I'll be right back. Don't touch anything. [Max leaves]
Billy: Let's touch stuff.
Billy: Press here to destroy Pluto. [Billy blow up Pluto]
Billy: Must be broken.
Nora: Dr. Colosso.
[Colosso and Nora scream]
Dr. Colosso: Close it.
Billy: I shouldn't be here, Nora. The Junior Super Troops motto is: do no evil.
[Max comes back]
Max: Okay, who wants to help me carve my initials in the moon!
Billy: Oo, I do! Pick me! Me, me!
[Nora and Billy helping Max carve his initials onto the moon]
Max: Good job, Billy. Keep it nice and steady, Nora.
Billy: This is awesome!
Nora: You're the best babysitter ever!
Hank: Interesting décor.. sort of a baseball-viking junk yard theme.
Barb: Come on Hank, this is fun. We now that we moved to Hiddenville, we can go out like a normal couple.
Hank: Yeah, you're right. Maybe I won't miss being you-know-who; saving lives by cape, bellowing in the wind and... oh, look, the menus sticky.
Birthday Boy's Dad: Honey, bad news, the Thunder Man we hired can't make it; his car broke down.
Hank: Barb, did you hear that? The guy playing Thunder Man's a no-show for that kid's birthday.
Barb: aw– Oo, jalapeno poppers!
Hank: No, don't you see, I'm Thunder Man. I can save that precious little girl's party.
Barb: That's a boy.
Hank: Yeah whatever.
Barb: Hank, we're in Hiddenville now. You can't go around exposing your secret identity.
Hank: I won't be. They'll think I'm a party entertainer who's got his car working again.
Barb: Hank, you're not even dressed for it. It's not as if you happen to have your super suit– under your clothes.
[Hank walks to the boy's birthday]
Hank: Did I hear it's someone's birthday! [Everyone cheers]
Thunder Monitor: Alert, Alert: non-supe approaching
Phoebe: Sorry Mom and Dad, but I need a life.
[Phoebe changes the superhero portrait of her family into a regular portrait of her family]
Cherry: Hi! Double selfie! [Cherry takes a photo of her and Phoebe] Oh my gosh, this place is bonkers. How have I never been here before?
Phoebe: I don't know! I mean, it's not like I'm hiding anything.
Cherry: Well of course now, we're best friends.
Phoebe: We are?
Cherry: Duh! Speaking of which, who is ready for the most cray-mazing girls night ever!?
Phoebe: Talk to me!
Cherry: First, we update our double selfies. [Cherry takes another photo of her and Phoebe] Then, we rock to the new Dance Your Thang Off video game; rated F, for funky. Ooh, ooh, ooh!
[Cherry and Phoebe dance]
Cherry: And it all starts now.
[Cherry puts her purse on the penguin butler, switching the portrait. Phoebe quickly presses it again]
Cherry: Why’d you do that?
Phoebe: Do what?
Phoebe: I didn't do this.
Cherry: Yeah, you did this.
Phoebe: I’d think I’d remember if I did this.
Phoebe: Hey, who wants to make brownies? I know I do!
Billy: What are we doing next, Max?
Max: Leaving me alone.
Max: Fine. Play with something in here.
Nora: Check it out: Nose Hairalyzer.
Billy: Is that nose hair?!
Billy and Nora: Awesome!
Billy: Can I see it?
[Billy uses the Nose Hairalyer on his chest]
Billy: Today, I am a man.
Cherry: Alright, lady, spill it. Who do you have a crush on?
Phoebe: I don’t know. There’s no one really special.
Cherry: Cole Campbell.
Phoebe: Sweet cheese, yes!
Cherry: You should totally call him.
Phoebe: You know I’m too shy for that.
Cherry: Which is why I’m the perfect best friend.
Phoebe: Cherry.. what are you doing? Don’t you look up his number! Don’t you call it– dont you let it ring– don’t you hand that phone to–
Phoebe: Hey, Cole. Its Phoebe Thunderman, from home room. I was just calling to...
Cherry: See if you want to hang out sometime.
Phoebe: I can’t believe you. You would? Yeah, next weeks great! Ok, bye. He is so cute!
Cherry: Yeah, you might wanna hang that up.
Nora: Give it back.
Phoebe: What is going on here?
Nora: I saw it first!
Billy: You want it? Here!
Nora: Ha! Missed me!
Phoebe: You guys, stop it right now!
Nora: Billy, cut it out!
Phoebe: That’s it! [Phoebe uses her telekinesis to lift Billy and Nora]
Cherry: Oh. My. Wow.
Max: So, this is fun.
Cherry: Your siblings are floating in midair!
Phoebe: No they’re not. [Phoebe puts them down]
Cherry: You have superpowers.
Max: You have superpowers and you didn’t tell me?!
Phoebe: Cherry, there is a very simple explanation for all this. And that explanation is… uh. [Phoebe uses her freeze breath on Cherry]
Max: Um, you froze your friend.
Phoebe: I know I froze my friend! Why are you smiling?
Max: I don’t smile. I smirk. And I'm doing it because you did something bad!
Phoebe: Yeah, and when I tell dad that you’re the one who invited Cherry here, he’ll make us all move again. Smirk on that, smirky!
Max: OK, this isn't so fun anymore.
Nora: Are we really going to have to move?
Phoebe: Don’t worry, Nora. Max and I will solve this.
Billy: You two are going to work together?
Billy and Nora: Lets get packing!
Max: Guys, guys, guys, wait! There is a very simple solution: I just wipe her memory with my BrainMelt 3000!
Phoebe: You are not wiping my best friend’s brain.
Max: She’s friends with you and is named after a fruit. There’s probably not much there to wipe.
Phoebe: No. We just need to thaw Cherry out and give her an explanation for what she saw.
Max: Hey, I like that.
Phoebe: Thank you.
Max: You’ll fail. It’ll be hilarious. And I still get to wipe her brain. Uh-oh. I feel a smirk coming on. Oh yeah, there it is.
Hank: Metal bat. [bends] Cement block. [crushes]
Barb: Thunder Man, can I talk to you for a second?
Hank: Yep, Barb, what’s up?
Barb: Super strength? Are you trying to get us exposed?
Hank: Honey, don’t worry, everybody thinks I'm a party entertainer using fake props. The kids get a thrill. I get to bust out a little of the old thunder, risk-free. Its all good, Barb.
Birthday Boy: Fly me, Thunder Man!
Hank: Fly you? Surprise attack! Get him off me! Get him off!
Birthday Boy: Awesome!
Birthday Boy's Dad: Best birthday ever, am I right?
Phoebe: Ok, so we’re all good on the plan?
Phoebe: Why do you always assume your plans are better than mine?
Max: I have a supervillain lab. You put glitter on your homework. I think its a safe assumption.
Phoebe: You’ll see; this’ll work. [Phoebe uses her heat breath to thaw out Cherry]
Cherry: So? Lets here it! If you don't have superpowers, how do you explain those kids rising into the air.
Phoebe: Simple. They have been to have rehearsing for their new school musical: Cannibal Squids From Mars!
Nora: I’ll get you Cannibal Squid!
Billy: Never, Space Overlord!
Billy and Nora: Oh, why can’t Squids and Overlords be friends!
Phoebe: There. Isn't that a completely believable explanation?
Cherry: I guess so..
Phoebe: Good, then lets forget about this whole superpowers thing.
Cherry: Oh, the brownies!
Nora: I’ll cut them in squares. [uses lasers] Oops. Brownie?
Cherry: You all have superpowers. Wait til I post this on my blog!
Max: I got this one. [freezes Cherry] You can’t have all the fun!
Phoebe: I can’t believe this! Now Cherry’s going to tell everyone at school that we have powers and dad will make us move again.
Max: Where am I going to get another supervillain lair?
Phoebe: Where am I going to get a new best friend?
Max: That’s it. We are not moving; not if the BrainMelt 3000 has anything to say about it.
Phoebe: You are not wiping her brain!
Max: Fine, I’ll just launch her into space!
Phoebe: Are you nuts!?
Max: No ones going to miss her!
Phoebe: You always do this.
Max: We gotta do something.
Thunder Monitor: Alert, Alert: parents approaching house.
Max: I added parent alert this morning.
Max: Also.. [Max and Phoebe scream]
Billy: Mom and dad are pulling in!
Phoebe: We can’t let them see Cherry!
Max: Oh! [Max covers Cherry with a blanket]
Phoebe: Put her in the closet!
Max: OK! [Max throws her into the closet]
Max: Everyone act natural!
Barb: Easy.. [Barb helps Hank into the house]
Phoebe: Hi mom. Hi dad.
Max: Sup guys.
Billy: Good evening, parents. I do not know why you’d be suspicious.
Barb: Hank, I’ll get you a heating pad in the closet.
Nora: Wait! Because I have a splinter.
Barb: Oh, let me take a look in the light. [checks Nora's hand] I don’t see anything.
Nora: Look harder!
Hank: I’ll just get an ice pack from the kitchen.
Billy: I’ll get it, dad! Junior Super Troopers are trained to help the elderly.
Hank: I think I handle it.
Barb: I gotta get my glasses upstairs.
Nora: No! Did I say splinter? I meant a cold!
Hank: Hey, honey! Honey, which cabinet is the– what is that?
Barb: What is that?
Max: I know.. ugly, right? I’m so done with the lamp of the month club.
Barb: Phoebe, isn't this your friend Cherry?
Phoebe: Mom, dad, I can explain. See, you wouldn’t let me go to Cherry’s, so I invited Cherry here; but then she saw me use powers, so I kind of froze her.
Max: Really? Honesty? That’s what you’re going with?
Hank: You let a non-supe in the house.
Phoebe: I know! I screwed up. I broke the rules and I’m really sorry. I just… wanted to have a friend.
Hank: I’m sorry, too. Start packing everybody.
Phoebe: We have to move?!
Billy: We’re moving!?
Nora: I don’t wanna move.
Barb: Sorry, but we have no choice. We have to keep our powers a secret. Although, I know showing them off sometimes can be tempting.
Phoebe: Well, at least I had a best friend for a little while.
Max: Mom, dad, wait! This isn’t Phoebe’s fault. Its mine. I texted her friend to come over, so I could go work in the lair. So if you’re going to punish anyone, punish me.
Hank: Phoebe let her in the house.
Max: Because she wanted a friend. Come on, dad. You moved us here so we could live normal lives. Well, don’t ruin Phoebe’s chances because of something that I did.
Hank: I’ll tell you what. I will pretend this whole night never happened if you and your sister can figure out a way to fix this.
Nora: We’re toast.
Phoebe: Wait! Its a long shot, but I know something we can try.
Thundermans: So if you’re ever in space, drop by and visit our place! Ask for the cannibal squids!
Hank: We’ll treat you right!
Barb: You’ll be our guest!
Max and Phoebe: We hope you’re not to hard to digest!
Thundermans: That’s the end of our show!
Cherry: So, you’re all in the school musical and all that weird stuff I saw was just special effects?
Hank: You buying that?
Cherry: Of course I’m buying that! You guys are so cool. Group selfie!
Max: OK, well, its getting late. Thanks for coming by!
Cherry: You were great, Max. I knew Phoebe had a brother, but she never said you were so talented..
Max: Yeah, whatever, Orange.
Cherry: Its Cherry.
Max: ‘kay, bye!
Barb: What a night. Come on kids, time for bed.
Nora: Can Max and Phoebe babysit us every night?
Barb, Phoebe, & Hank: No!
Hank: Think I’m gonna try one of those brownies in the kitchen.
Phoebe: That was a really nice thing you did for me.
Max: Yeah, listen, I have a reputation to uphold. So if we can keep this whole nice thing on the down low.
Phoebe: Nu-uh! You did a nice thing and I'm never going to forget it.
Phoebe: Try to melt my brain and I’ll cram that thing down your smirk-hole.
Hank: You know what these need? Macadamia nuts!
Max: Let me guess, you’re gonna fly all the way to Hawaii and get–
Hank: Thunder Man, away! [Hank flies through the ceiling to Hawaii]
Phoebe: We have a weird family.
Max: Yeah, we do.
Phoebe: Why does it say “Nora rules” on the moon?