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This is a complete transcript of Adventures in Supersitting

Transcript

Phoebe: I hope you're all hungry! [Everybody agrees]

Hank: Absolutely!

Billy: Yeah, lets eat!

Barb: It is so nice to sit down to dinner like a normal family.

Phoebe: Yeah. Hit it sis!

[Nora uses her heat vision to cook the food]

Phoebe: I'll get forks. [Phoebe activates her telekinesis to get the forks]

Billy: I'll get the lemonade.

[Billy super speeds to the fridge and back with lemonade]

Max: And I'll eat dessert. [Max activates his telekinesis to get the cake]

Phoebe: Max, that's for later.

[Max and Phoebe use their telekinesis to fight over the cake]

Max: Says who?

Phoebe: Me. Now let it go!

Max: Suit yourself. [the cake hits the wall, Max laughs]

Billy: Wall cake!

Hank: That's it. [while holding Billy from super speeding to the cake] For once, could we enjoy a nice, relaxing dinner without you kids using your superpowers?

[Everybody agrees with Hank]

Hank: Great. Now, where is my Peruvian hot sauce?

Phoebe: You’re going to fly to Peru to get hot sauce, aren't you?

Hank: Thunder Man, away! [Hank flies through the ceiling to Peru]

Max: That is never not funny.

...

Phoebe: Okay. See you then, Cherry! I know, I can’t wait either! Bye. [Phoebe ends her call with Cherry]

Phoebe: Ooh, I'm having a girls night with Cherry!

Billy: I don't get it. You and Max have more powers than all of us and you're excited about seeing a friend?

Nora: You don’t get it because your only friends are the bacteria in your armpits.

Billy: Yeah, and they want to be friends with you too.

Nora: Eww!

Phoebe: Come on guys, be nice. You should love your siblings. [Phoebe bumps into Max]

Phoebe: Except him, he's evil.

Max: Come on sis, you're my twin. Where's the love?

Phoebe: The love died when you beheaded my dolls when we were five.

Max: Oh yeah. Totally worth it! [Max shows the doll that he beheaded]

Max: Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to go do supervillian stuff in my lair.

[Barb and Hank walk in]

Barb: It's not a lair if it has a nightlight.

Hank: Supervillian? More like super cutie! [Hank kisses Max on the cheek]

Nora: Where you going?

Hank: I am taking your mom out to dinner.

Barb: So Max and Phoebe are babysitting you; they're really looking forward to it.

[Phoebe walks in]

Phoebe: Don't talk to your armpits, don't laser your brother, don't take over the world, don't have more children; goodnight everybody!

[Barb activates her lightning to hit the front door]

Phoebe: Wow mom, you still got it.

Barb: Where are you going? I need you and Max to babysit tonight.

Phoebe and Max: What?!

Phoebe: Mom, I was going to Cherry's tonight.

Max: Yeah, and I was going to not babysit.

Barb: Well, now you’re not not-babysitting. ...wait. [Hank agrees] Yeah, that's right.

Phoebe: Well, can't a neighbour watch Billy and Nora?

Hank: And risk the kids exposing their powers to a non-superhero?

Phoebe: They won't. They're really responsible now.

Nora: Dance! Dance I say! [Nora lasers Billy]

Billy: Ow! Cut it out! [Nora laughs]

Phoebe: Please, mom! Cherry is the only friend I've managed to make since we've moved here.

Max: That's one more than I thought she'd make.

Barb: I'm sorry, honey. But your father and I gave up crime fighting so you kids could have a normal childhood.

Hank: That's right. Which is too bad, 'cause I've still got it.

Barb: Yeah, and a little extra.

Phoebe: This is the worst! You know, sometimes I wish we didn't even have superpowers.

Barb: I'm sorry, Phoebe. [Barb kisses Phoebe on the head] Come on, Hank.

Hank: To the Thunder Mobile!

Barb: Minivan.

Hank: To the Thunder Minivan!

Barb: No, it's just a mini-- whatever.

Max: How can I become the world's greatest supervillian if I have to babysit Zippy and Lasergirl? Wait a minute! You guys are way too cool for babysitting. How'd you like to assist me on my latest project?

Billy: Sure.

Nora: Guess so.

Max: Alright. Phoebe! You deserve a girls night. So, why don’t I babysit Billy and Nora while you invite your friend over here.

Phoebe: Are you nuts? What about dad's number one rule.

Max: Everything goes better with gravy?

Phoebe: No non-supes in the house. I'm calling Cherry to cancel.

Max: You're right. Of course, she'll probably find a new best friend and you can make loneliness your new best friend.

Phoebe: Wait! You guys promise, that if Cherry comes, you won't use your powers?

Billy and Nora: Of course not, we wont.

[Nora lasers Billy]

Billy: Ow!

Nora: She's not here yet.

Phoebe: Okay, I'll do it.

Max: Great, let's text her. [Max uses his telekinesis to take Phoebe's phone]

Phoebe: Hey!

Max: Sup, girl. Pheebs here...

Phoebe: You're texting as me?

Max: Totes obvi we should hang at my crib. See you at 7. As if! Smiley face with a party hat.

Phoebe: Darn it... that is exactly what I would have written.

Max: Alright guys, to the Max Lair! [Max opens the hatch to his lair] Woo!

Billy: Billy in the hole!

Nora: Glad we got rid of the boy germs. Am I right, Pheebs? [Phoebe looks at Nora]

Nora: Yeah, I'll just go.

...

Billy: Weee! Hey, where's Nora?

[Billy screams and Nora lands on top of him]

Max: Okay, I'll be right back. Don't touch anything. [Max leaves]

Billy: Let's touch stuff.

Nora: Yeah.

Billy: Press here to destroy Pluto. [Billy blow up Pluto]

Billy: Must be broken.

Nora: Dr. Colosso.

[Colosso and Nora scream]

Dr. Colosso: Close it.

Nora: Yep.

Billy: I shouldn't be here, Nora. The Junior Super Troops motto is: do no evil.

[Max comes back]

Max: Okay, who wants to help me carve my initials in the moon!

Billy: Oo, I do! Pick me! Me, me!

[Nora and Billy helping Max carve his initials onto the moon]

Max: Good job, Billy. Keep it nice and steady, Nora.

Billy: This is awesome!

Nora: You're the best babysitter ever!

...

Hank: Interesting décor.. sort of a baseball-viking junk yard theme.

Barb: Come on Hank, this is fun. We now that we moved to Hiddenville, we can go out like a normal couple.

Hank: Yeah, you're right. Maybe I won't miss being you-know-who; saving lives by cape, bellowing in the wind and... oh, look, the menus sticky.

Birthday Boy's Dad: Honey, bad news, the Thunder Man we hired can't make it; his car broke down.

Hank: Barb, did you hear that? The guy playing Thunder Man's a no-show for that kid's birthday.

Barb: aw– Oo, jalapeno poppers!

Hank: No, don't you see, I'm Thunder Man. I can save that precious little girl's party.

Barb: That's a boy.

Hank: Yeah whatever.

Barb: Hank, we're in Hiddenville now. You can't go around exposing your secret identity.

Hank: I won't be. They'll think I'm a party entertainer who's got his car working again.

Barb: Hank, you're not even dressed for it. It's not as if you happen to have your super suit– under your clothes.

[Hank walks to the boy's birthday]

Hank: Did I hear it's someone's birthday! [Everyone cheers]

...

Thunder Monitor: Alert, Alert: non-supe approaching

Phoebe: Sorry Mom and Dad, but I need a life.

[Phoebe changes the superhero portrait of her family into a regular portrait of her family]

Cherry: Hi! Double selfie! [Cherry takes a photo of her and Phoebe] Oh my gosh, this place is bonkers. How have I never been here before?

Phoebe: I don't know! I mean, it's not like I'm hiding anything.

Cherry: Well of course now, we're best friends.

Phoebe: We are?

Cherry: Duh! Speaking of which, who is ready for the most cray-mazing girls night ever!?

Phoebe: Talk to me!

Cherry: First, we update our double selfies. [Cherry takes another photo of her and Phoebe] Then, we rock to the new Dance Your Thang Off video game; rated F, for funky. Ooh, ooh, ooh!

[Cherry and Phoebe dance]

Cherry: And it all starts now.

[Cherry puts her purse on the penguin butler, switching the portrait. Phoebe quickly presses it again]

Cherry: Why’d you do that?

Phoebe: Do what?

Cherry: This.

Phoebe: I didn't do this.

Cherry: Yeah, you did this.

Phoebe: I’d think I’d remember if I did this.

Cherry: Phoebe–

Phoebe: Hey, who wants to make brownies? I know I do!

...

Max: What?

Billy: What are we doing next, Max?

Max: Leaving me alone.

Max: Fine. Play with something in here.

Nora: Check it out: Nose Hairalyzer.

Billy: Is that nose hair?!

Billy and Nora: Awesome!

Billy: Can I see it?

[Billy uses the Nose Hairalyer on his chest]

Billy: Today, I am a man.

...

Cherry: Alright, lady, spill it. Who do you have a crush on?

Phoebe: I don’t know. There’s no one really special.

Cherry: Cole Campbell.

Phoebe: Sweet cheese, yes!

Cherry: You should totally call him.

Phoebe: You know I’m too shy for that.

Cherry: Which is why I’m the perfect best friend.

Phoebe: Cherry.. what are you doing? Don’t you look up his number! Don’t you call it– dont you let it ring– don’t you hand that phone to–

Phoebe: Hey, Cole. Its Phoebe Thunderman, from home room. I was just calling to...

Cherry: See if you want to hang out sometime.

Phoebe: I can’t believe you. You would? Yeah, next weeks great! Ok, bye. He is so cute!

Cherry: Yeah, you might wanna hang that up.

Nora: Give it back.

Billy: No!

Nora: Billy!

Phoebe: What is going on here?

Nora: I saw it first!

Billy: You want it? Here!

Nora: Ha! Missed me!

Phoebe: You guys, stop it right now!

Nora: Billy, cut it out!

Phoebe: That’s it! [Phoebe uses her telekinesis to lift Billy and Nora]

Billy: Whoa!

Cherry: Oh. My. Wow.

Max: So, this is fun.

Cherry: Your siblings are floating in midair!

Phoebe: No they’re not. [Phoebe puts them down]

Cherry: You have superpowers.

Max: You have superpowers and you didn’t tell me?!

Phoebe: Cherry, there is a very simple explanation for all this. And that explanation is… uh. [Phoebe uses her freeze breath on Cherry]

Max: Um, you froze your friend.

Phoebe: I know I froze my friend! Why are you smiling?

Max: I don’t smile. I smirk. And I'm doing it because you did something bad!

Phoebe: Yeah, and when I tell dad that you’re the one who invited Cherry here, he’ll make us all move again. Smirk on that, smirky!

Max: OK, this isn't so fun anymore.

Nora: Are we really going to have to move?

Phoebe: Don’t worry, Nora. Max and I will solve this.

Billy: You two are going to work together?

Billy and Nora: Lets get packing!

Max: Guys, guys, guys, wait! There is a very simple solution: I just wipe her memory with my BrainMelt 3000!

Phoebe: You are not wiping my best friend’s brain.

Max: She’s friends with you and is named after a fruit. There’s probably not much there to wipe.

Phoebe: No. We just need to thaw Cherry out and give her an explanation for what she saw.

Max: Hey, I like that.

Phoebe: Thank you.

Max: You’ll fail. It’ll be hilarious. And I still get to wipe her brain. Uh-oh. I feel a smirk coming on. Oh yeah, there it is.

...

Hank: Metal bat. [bends] Cement block. [crushes]

Barb: Thunder Man, can I talk to you for a second?

Hank: Yep, Barb, what’s up?

Barb: Super strength? Are you trying to get us exposed?

Hank: Honey, don’t worry, everybody thinks I'm a party entertainer using fake props. The kids get a thrill. I get to bust out a little of the old thunder, risk-free. Its all good, Barb.

Birthday Boy: Fly me, Thunder Man!

Hank: Fly you? Surprise attack! Get him off me! Get him off!

Birthday Boy: Awesome!

Birthday Boy's Dad: Best birthday ever, am I right?

...

Phoebe: Ok, so we’re all good on the plan?

Billy: Yep.

Nora: Yep.

Max: Lame.

Phoebe: Why do you always assume your plans are better than mine?

Max: I have a supervillain lab. You put glitter on your homework. I think its a safe assumption.

Phoebe: You’ll see; this’ll work. [Phoebe uses her heat breath to thaw out Cherry]

Cherry: So? Lets here it! If you don't have superpowers, how do you explain those kids rising into the air.

Phoebe: Simple. They have been to have rehearsing for their new school musical: Cannibal Squids From Mars!

Nora: I’ll get you Cannibal Squid!

Billy: Never, Space Overlord!

Billy and Nora: Oh, why can’t Squids and Overlords be friends!

Phoebe: There. Isn't that a completely believable explanation?

Cherry: I guess so..

Phoebe: Good, then lets forget about this whole superpowers thing.

Cherry: Oh, the brownies!

Billy: Brownies!?

Nora: I’ll cut them in squares. [uses lasers] Oops. Brownie?

Cherry: You all have superpowers. Wait til I post this on my blog!

Max: I got this one. [freezes Cherry] You can’t have all the fun!

Phoebe: I can’t believe this! Now Cherry’s going to tell everyone at school that we have powers and dad will make us move again.

Max: Where am I going to get another supervillain lair?

Phoebe: Where am I going to get a new best friend?

Max: That’s it. We are not moving; not if the BrainMelt 3000 has anything to say about it.

Phoebe: You are not wiping her brain!

Max: Fine, I’ll just launch her into space!

Phoebe: Are you nuts!?

Max: No ones going to miss her!

Phoebe: You always do this.

Max: We gotta do something.

Thunder Monitor: Alert, Alert: parents approaching house.

Max: I added parent alert this morning.

Phoebe: Nice.

Max: Also.. [Max and Phoebe scream]

Billy: Mom and dad are pulling in!

Phoebe: We can’t let them see Cherry!

Max: Oh! [Max covers Cherry with a blanket]

Phoebe: Put her in the closet!

Max: OK! [Max throws her into the closet]

Max: Everyone act natural!

Barb: Easy.. [Barb helps Hank into the house]

Phoebe: Hi mom. Hi dad.

Max: Sup guys.

Billy: Good evening, parents. I do not know why you’d be suspicious.

Barb: Hank, I’ll get you a heating pad in the closet.

Nora: Wait! Because I have a splinter.

Barb: Oh, let me take a look in the light. [checks Nora's hand] I don’t see anything.

Nora: Look harder!

Hank: I’ll just get an ice pack from the kitchen.

Billy: I’ll get it, dad! Junior Super Troopers are trained to help the elderly.

Hank: I think I handle it.

Barb: I gotta get my glasses upstairs.

Nora: No! Did I say splinter? I meant a cold!

Hank: Hey, honey! Honey, which cabinet is the– what is that?

Barb: What is that?

Max: I know.. ugly, right? I’m so done with the lamp of the month club.

Barb: Phoebe, isn't this your friend Cherry?

Phoebe: Mom, dad, I can explain. See, you wouldn’t let me go to Cherry’s, so I invited Cherry here; but then she saw me use powers, so I kind of froze her.

Max: Really? Honesty? That’s what you’re going with?

Hank: You let a non-supe in the house.

Phoebe: I know! I screwed up. I broke the rules and I’m really sorry. I just… wanted to have a friend.

Hank: I’m sorry, too. Start packing everybody.

Phoebe: We have to move?!

Billy: We’re moving!?

Nora: I don’t wanna move.

Barb: Sorry, but we have no choice. We have to keep our powers a secret. Although, I know showing them off sometimes can be tempting.

Phoebe: Well, at least I had a best friend for a little while.

Max: Mom, dad, wait! This isn’t Phoebe’s fault. Its mine. I texted her friend to come over, so I could go work in the lair. So if you’re going to punish anyone, punish me.

Hank: Phoebe let her in the house.

Max: Because she wanted a friend. Come on, dad. You moved us here so we could live normal lives. Well, don’t ruin Phoebe’s chances because of something that I did.

Hank: I’ll tell you what. I will pretend this whole night never happened if you and your sister can figure out a way to fix this.

Nora: We’re toast.

Phoebe: Wait! Its a long shot, but I know something we can try.

...

Thundermans: So if you’re ever in space, drop by and visit our place! Ask for the cannibal squids!

Hank: We’ll treat you right!

Barb: You’ll be our guest!

Max and Phoebe: We hope you’re not to hard to digest!

Thundermans: That’s the end of our show!

Cherry: So, you’re all in the school musical and all that weird stuff I saw was just special effects?

Thundermans: Yep!

Hank: You buying that?

Cherry: Of course I’m buying that! You guys are so cool. Group selfie!

Max: OK, well, its getting late. Thanks for coming by!

Cherry: You were great, Max. I knew Phoebe had a brother, but she never said you were so talented..

Max: Yeah, whatever, Orange.

Cherry: Its Cherry.

Max: ‘kay, bye!

Barb: What a night. Come on kids, time for bed.

Nora: Can Max and Phoebe babysit us every night?

Barb, Phoebe, & Hank: No!

Hank: Think I’m gonna try one of those brownies in the kitchen.

Phoebe: That was a really nice thing you did for me.

Max: Yeah, listen, I have a reputation to uphold. So if we can keep this whole nice thing on the down low.

Phoebe: Nu-uh! You did a nice thing and I'm never going to forget it.

Phoebe: Try to melt my brain and I’ll cram that thing down your smirk-hole.

Hank: You know what these need? Macadamia nuts!

Max: Let me guess, you’re gonna fly all the way to Hawaii and get–

Hank: Thunder Man, away! [Hank flies through the ceiling to Hawaii]

Phoebe: We have a weird family.

Max: Yeah, we do.

Phoebe: Why does it say “Nora rules” on the moon?

Max: Nooorrrraaaaa!

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