Phoebe: What? Um, Max’s girlfriend; the one who’s been away volunteering with the Earth Core for 3 months.
Hank: How could you forget her name?
Billy: Cause I didn’t write it on my wrist [Billy looks at his arm] ..dad.
Nora: Well, I hope she gets here soon, because Max’s attitude is unbearable.
Max: [singing] Allison! You’re coming back-ison!
Chloe: I think I know why she left.
Hank: I know, and now it’s rubbing off on your mom.
Barb: [singing] Allison! Max’s girlfriend-ison!
Phoebe: Wow, it’s like a musical, without any good songs or talent.
Max: Come, family, see the feast I prepared! [they enter the kitchen] I made all of Allison’s favorites: kale tacos, cabbage dogs, and broccoli burgers.
Phoebe: Well, no wonder she’s so angry.
Hank: Alright. Don’t worry guys, this is why I installed the emergency meat button.
Nora: That’s why our house smells like a deli.
Max: [gets a text] Its Allison!
Chloe: Oo, Max’s girlfriend loves him.
Max: [reading text] “Max, I’m breaking up with you..”
Chloe: Wow, I was way off.
Max: “..I realized you’re not my soulmate. The earth is.” [end text] Stupid earth! I should have destroyed it when I had the chance!
Phoebe: Yeah, earth is the worst. I don’t know, I’m trying to be supportive.
Nora: You don’t need her, Max. There’s other fish in the sea.
Hank: And under our seats.
Barb: Are you okay, honey?
Max: Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. [Max leaves the kitchen] I’ll never love again!
Phoebe: He’s not serious.
Max: I’m super serious!
Hank: Oh, no! The kids have been attacked by Professor Fancy Pants!
Barb: Well I wish he’d attack sooner, they look amazing!
Nora: We’re just a couple of mature individuals who want to have an adult conversation with our parents.
Billy: That’s right. So sit back, relax, and have a cup of coffee.
Barb: Oo, we’d love some. [Barb and Hank take a sip before spitting it out] No.
Hank: That taste like dirt water.
Billy: Isn’t that what coffee is?
Nora: We believe we’re ready to begin a more grown up level of superhero training. You started training Phoebe when she was our age.
Hank: Eh, Phoebe’s special– just like you guys!
Nora: We’ve taken down some serious villains, like Fairy Pinchess at the prom.
Billy: Allow us to refresh your memories. [Billy and Nora remove their breakaway clothes to reveal their super suits]
Chloe: I’m going to pinch you into next week!
Nora: But she didn’t! Because Billy zapped her and I locked her in a box.
Chloe: You have zappeded me. Goodbye, cruel world.
Nora: Get in the box, Scarlett Johansson.
Billy: Another villain taken out by Billy and [Billy checks his wrist again] ..Nora!
Barb: OK, you guys convinced us.
Hank: Meet us in the driveway tomorrow afternoon and we will begin your next phase of superhero training!
Billy: Nora, we did it!
Nora: I told you it would work!
Chloe: Guys, can I come out now? Hello?
Phoebe: Alright, Max! Your break up was a few days ago, bet you’re itching to get back out on patrol.
Max groans in response.
Phoebe: Or itching cause you’re a filthy dirt monster.
Max: Why would I go out on patrol? Just arrest Allison for breaking and entering.. my heart.
Phoebe: Come on, Max, you got to get over this now. I know your heart is broken, but the shower is not.
Max: We will shower when we’re good and ready.
Phoebe: I’m sorry, “we”?
Dr. Colosso: You heard him, girly! When my Maxie stinks, I stink.
Phoebe: Quiet, humans talking. Max, come on, get up and lets go.
Max: That’s it! I’m putting you on ice! [Max is unable to use his freeze breath]
Phoebe: What happened to your freeze breath? That was no freeze and all breath; terrible, horrible breath.
Max: That’s all I got. Allison really broke me. Now I’m just an extremely handsome shell of my former self.
Dr. Colosso: When my Maxie is handsome, I’m han–
Phoebe: Zip it, stinky.
Max: These stairs always worked when I was with Allison!
Phoebe: Never seen him like this before. Gotta get him to snap him out of this funk and be super again.
Dr. Colosso: Impossible. He only wants Allison back, and that’s not going to happen.
Phoebe: But I could find him a new Allison.
Dr. Colosso: [in a high pitch voice, wearing a wig] Well, look for further!
Phoebe: This is disturbing in so many ways.
Dr. Colosso: Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful!
Phoebe: Cherry? Um, whatcha doing? How is this gonna help us find Max a new girlfriend?
Cherry: Oh, I thought you said new gold pen.
Phoebe: OK, um, I figure the best way to help Max get over Allison is to find him a new girl that is exactly like Allison.
Cherry: Yeah, that makes total sense. And any girl would be lucky to date Max.
Max: Everything is pain! Your relationship is doomed!
Cherry: Yeah, I was wrong, he’ll never date again.
Phoebe: No. I guess it was a crazy idea anyway. I mean its not like the universe is just gonna send us a new Allison.
Bradford: This is new Allison.
Molly: Actually, my name is Molly.
Bradford: Actually, I don’t care. She’s the new head of Green Teenz, and your problem now. [walks away] Out of my away delinquents!
Molly: So guys, my first big event is a pet adoption fair this afternoon. Will you help me spread the word?
Cherry: Oh, sure. [yelling] There’s a pet adoption fair this afternoon!
Phoebe: Um, I think she meant the flyer's.
Cherry: Oh. [yelling] And there’s also flyer's!
Molly: I love your enthusiasm. Thanks, guys!
Cherry: Phoebe, this is amazing: she’s just like Allison.
Phoebe: Yeah. I don’t know, she’s missing that little bit of crazy Max likes.
Molly: Hey! Recycle, buttface!
Phoebe: I’m wrong. She’s prefect. Molly wait up!
Hank: Hey, kids! Ready to take your training to the next level?
Billy and Nora: Yeah!
Barb: Meet the Crime Buddy.
Crime Buddy: Hello, little supes. Lets have some training fun!
Nora: Oh, this is the perfect training tool. For a baby!
Billy: Or someone who’s just been born.
Hank: The training bot is built to challenge supes at any level. Right now its set to cutesy wootsy, because you two are cutesy wootsy.
Nora: We’re not cutesy wootsy.
Billy: I don’t know. I’m pretty adorable.
Nora: At least challenge us and crank this thing up to meanie weenie.
Hank: No, no, no. I know it probably feels like we’re taking things a little slow.
Barb: But if you want to fight for justice, you’re gonna have to trust us.
Hank: Oh, honey, did you just make that up?
Barb: Yeah! I just did! OK, you two do your best and we’ll be back to check on you later.
Crime Buddy: Use your powers to pop as many bubbles as you can, hero!
Nora: Billy, this is so beneath us.
Billy: This is the greatest day of my life!
Max: Colosso! We’re out of pizza, order more!
Dr. Colosso: Later. My belly’s full and telling me I need a power nap.
Max: Good idea, pal. Allison can’t hurt us in our sleep.
Phoebe: Come on in. This is my brother Max. Max, this is Molly, say hello.
Max groans in response.
Molly: Oh my goodness, I’ve never seen an animal in worse condition.
Phoebe: OK, I know he seems gross now, but I promise you under all that funk there is a hunk.
Molly: I’m not talking about that animal. [Molly gestures to Colosso] This animal. Pepperoni pizza is not a healthy diet for a bunny. He looks sick.
Max: Colosso? He’s not sick; his heart is just slowing down so he can digest the cheese. [gets up from couch] Phoebe, get the pizza police out of here!
Phoebe: OK, Max, could I talk to you in the kitchen for a second, please? Molly, make yourself at home; have some floor pizza. [Max and Phoebe enter the kitchen] OK, Max, you miss Allison, I get it. But I got you a new Allison, don’t blow it.
Max: What’s the point? Its only a matter of time before she leaves me for the earth. Stupid earth. I refuse to breath your air! [Max holds his breath] Darn it, earth, you win again!
Phoebe: Max. You’re a superhero, okay. How are you suppose to fight criminals when they could smell you coming a mile away?
Max: OK, I am still super. Check out my heat breath. [Max belches] Just heat that up and you’ll be good to go.
Phoebe: Oh, great, you ran her off!
Max: She ran off because she stole Colosso!
Phoebe: What? What makes you think that?
Max: Cause she left a note that says I stole Colosso. She took him to the pet adoption fair!
Phoebe: OK, don’t freak out. Colosso’s not in danger, right. He’s one of the most evil supervillains of all time– oh, we should probably go get him.
Phoebe: OK, for the millionth time, I’m sorry.
Max: Sorry your nutball friend stole the worlds most adorable supervillain?
Max: You’re not forgiven!
Phoebe: Max, I’m gonna fix this, OK? I will do everything in my power to make sure Colosso never finds a loving home. Lets go! [Phoebe confronts an old woman] Ma'am, I demand to see what you are snuggling! [snake hisses] Its a snake.
Max: Molly’s over there, lets go.
Phoebe: OK. Hey, bunny thief. You stole Dr. Colosso and my brother wants him back.
Molly: Too bad. He’s already been rescued by a loving, nurturing owner.
Bradford: I’ve been so lonely since my old pet Chesterfield left. I bet you can’t wait to snuggle with papa Tad!
Dr. Colosso: How has my life come to this?
Molly: See? Colosso’s better off without you. Stay away from him!
Max: Bradford’s never going to hand Colosso over. He hates us!
Phoebe: No, no, no. I am going to let Sad Tad ruin our lives. We’ll just have to follow him home and steal Colosso back. And nothing is getting in our way! [snake hisses] snake..!
Crime Buddy: Are you ready to do the crime boogie? [music plays] Freeze when the music stops!
Nora: I wish this pre-school party would stop.
Crime Buddy: Don’t complain! T-t-train! [music stops] Good job not moving! Level 2: cleared!
Nora: This is crazy. Mom and dad are still treating us like babies! But we know we could handle real grown up training, right?
Nora: We took down villains! We shouldn’t be wasting time on this baby bot, right?
Nora: So you’re gonna go crank up that crime bot to meanie weenie level, right?!
Billy: No! ..mom and dad said that we’re not ready.
Nora: Then let’s prove them wrong.
Crime Buddy: Leveling up. Stand by.
Billy: Hey, let’s go get a snack while this thing levels up.
Nora: Yeah, then we’ll come back and show that goofy little robot who’s boss.
Crime Buddy: Meanie weenie mode: complete.
Billy: I think he’s the boss. [Crime Buddy shoots a laser at them]
Nora: I miss the bubbles.
Max: This makes no sense. We’ve been following him around town for an hour. Why hasn’t he gone home?
Bradford: [hits locker] Tad Bradford.
Phoebe: Cause he lives here in a locker bed!
Bradford: Welcome to the Tad pad! Oh hey, would you like to see my old high school year book, Mr Snuggly Poo? Aw, you’re so excited you’re shivering. [looks at year book] Oo! This is me with my girlfriend Valerie. This is me and my roller skating gang. Respect!
Phoebe: This is me, thinking this is hilarious.
Max: I can’t laugh. Allison broke my heart and my funny bone.
Phoebe: Would you forget about Allison? Focus on getting Colosso back! We just have to wait for Bradford to fall asleep, then we can grab Colosso and get out of here.
Bradford: Oh, and this is me playing Homecoming with my band. The Red Hot Chili Bradfords! Yeah, that’s right, I can still hit the high notes. [trying to hit that high note]
Phoebe: Amazing. Seriously, nothing? Alright.
Billy: The Crime Buddy won’t stop looking for us. What are we suppose to do?
Nora: Just stay put. Its gotta give up sooner or later.
Crime Buddy: Engage infrared loser scan. [scans room] Losers targeted.
Billy: Oh, good! He found some losers.
Nora: We’re the losers! [Crime Buddy shoots another laser, Billy super speeds him and Nora away] Thanks, Billy. You know what? Lets just stand up to this tin man. Hey, metal head! You’re going down.
Crime Buddy: You have defeated the Crime Buddy.
Billy and Nora: Yes!
Crime Buddy: Just kidding! You are dumb, as well as weak.
Billy and Nora scream
Hank: Can’t wait to see how Billy and Nora did while we were gone.
Barb: Yeah! I bet they’re giving that Crime Buddy the business.
Crime Buddy: Prepare to be destroyed.
Barb: Let go of my babies!
Crime Buddy: Your challenge is accepted, soccer mom.
Chloe: They’re not scared of you! But I am!
Hank: Hey! My mom made that coat rack out of the first tree I flew into!
Crime Buddy: Get a tissue, mama’s boy.
Hank: Haha oh, that’s it. You’re out of here. [Hank uppercuts the Crime Buddy]
Barb: Are you guys okay?
Nora: We’re fine!
Hank: I’m gonna call the Hero League right now to tell them their robot malfunctioned.
Billy: Does malfunction mean Nora and I set it to meanie weenie?
Nora: No, Billy. It doesn't.
Barb: You upped the levels?
Hank: We told you guys you weren't ready.
Nora: And we believe you.. now.
Billy: We just wanted to show you we’re mature superheroes. Not little kids.
Barb: Well, mature superheroes understand that they don’t know everything. If you want to fight crime, take one step at a time.
Hank: Oh, you are on fire!
Barb: I know, right?
Nora: We understand.
Hank: Good. Because your next step is cleaning up this house.
Billy and Nora: Aww!
Hank: Don’t “aww” me. How do you think gam-gam gonna feel when she sees her busted coat rack?
Bradford: That was the best year of my life. Aside from the dolphin attack.
Phoebe: Finally– what, why wont he go to sleep? My life were this bad, I’d sleep all the time.
Bradford: Come on, Mr Snuggly Poo. Let’s go get in our matching jammies.
Dr. Colosso: Please wake me up from this nightmare.
Bradford: Gotta close you up! Can’t take any chances after Chesterfield ran away.
Phoebe: OK, we gotta come up with a plan.
Max: You come up with a plan! My powers don’t even work anymore. All I’m good for now is eating pizza and watching everyone I love leave me.
Phoebe: OK, that’s it. [Phoebe tosses away Max’s pizza] Really? [tosses away his second pizza] Max, I know this breakup was hard on you, but there will be plenty of other girls who would be happy to date you.
Max: Phoebe, you don’t get it. Allison can’t be replaced by some random stranger. She was my first real girlfriend. She really understood me.
Phoebe: Wow, Max, I had no idea. Look, I’m sorry, I just. Look, I was afraid if you didn’t snap out of this now that you’d be a sad-sack forever. A lot of people let breakups ruin their lives.
Bradford: Truth is Mr Snuggly Poo, getting dumped by Valerie really ruined my life. Now, 20 years later, I live in a queen-sized locker.
Max: Wow. I can’t believe one breakup turned him into that.
Phoebe: Yeah. You gonna let this breakup with Allison do the same to you?
Principal Maxford: Out of my way, delinquents! Show some respect for Principal Maxford! [gets hit my oranges] Ow! Who’s throwing oranges!? I hate this school.
Max: This breakup wont break me. Phoebe, distract Bradford so I could grab Colosso.
Phoebe: Right! [knocks over trashcan]
Bradford: What was that!? The lunch lady better not be still living in the teachers lounge. This school’s not big enough for the both of us, Gladys!
Max: Hey, buddy! Here to rescue you!
Dr. Colosso: Thanks, Max! Does this mean you want me to put on the wig?
Max: What wig?
Dr. Colosso: [high pitched voice] You’ll find out.
Bradford: I hear you talking, Gladys! You wanna live in this school? Become the principal!
Max: Phoebe’s in trouble. [uses freeze breath on staircase]
Phoebe: Thanks, Max! Hey, your powers are back to normal!
Max: Hey, lets talk about that at home!
Bradford: Mr Snuggly Poo’s gone! He was all I had! [mouse squeaks] Chesterfield? You came home to Papa Tad.
Max: He’s best friends with a rat!
Phoebe: So good to have you back.